a MVP? or a *hole?

dam... i feel like an idiot...
hav been training for whole week... weekends hav to go semenyih for state training every week...
gosh im tired~

darn i feel like an real a*Hole~... a frenly against chunghua private... i elbowed a man in his face hard... without a sry...
well... he deserved it after the small things tht happened early during match we had....
anyway i elbowed tht guy hard... after he chested me... and i juz walk away... with a smile...
is tht wat i should be doing??? gosh

another case?? well a match between gladiators mayb... acs vs batu unjur
i dun see win or lose...
i dun feel like a mvp cos i always caused damage to other ppl....
GEez my head is turning... haih...
anyway against batu unjur... i could hav smashed a guy's face straight to the floor...
he was lucky tht i missed kick his ankles while he was taking a jumpshot...
darn... i did this because??? of her??? shes not even worth it...
after i did it... i was again with all smiles.... which is not the way for me to be acting... ==

after tht match... night time... i receive msgs from a fren saying tht... u do notice tht u are juz injuring him because he has sumthing tht u dun hav??
i came to my senses..... i was thinking... ya... i am elbowing him cos i am jealous of him?? so wat im a better bkb player thn him?? doesnt mean i hav the power to injure or to hurt ppl with my experience on doing it... hiahzzzzz

well.. tht night i sent my sincere apologies to him... and he was a great guy about it...
although i hav apologized i still dun feel right...
i should be playing bkb and letting ppl look up to me....
but in the end... im doing this..??